


I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me.

by Solarflarelou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drug Use, M/M, Mention of abuse, No Smut, Sad Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Unrequited Love, harry does drugs, im sorry there's no smut I just suck at writing, louis is a prostitute, mention of selfharm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 12:08:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4059463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solarflarelou/pseuds/Solarflarelou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry fucks Louis when he's a mess sometimes but this one particular night it wasn't enough.</p><p>or </p><p>A one-shot about the song Ghost by Halsey</p>
            </blockquote>





	I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing anything i am so sorry if its horrible.  
> Also if you haven't listened to "Ghost" by Halsey you should go do that :)  
> -Zxx.
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT----12/20/16   
> This kinda kills me and I hate it ugh I wanna get back into writing though I always write short poetry in a journal but not usually stories/fics nobody is probably going to see this or read it BUUUUUT If you have any prompts or song based fics you have an idea for let me know and I'll see if I can do anything with it ☺️

  Louis was a boy walking around with an empty smile on his face and tears brimming in his eyes but never daring to actually fall and Harry was a boy chasing any high he could get which was most likely snorting cocaine or Ritalin and somehow these boys met and Harry became a distraction for Louis, nothing more and nothing less. It was one particular night though that even while calling Harry, Louis knew it was too late and he was already too far gone. Louis knew he would never be able to get the image of fists hitting at him repetitively and strangers hands, strangers dirty fucking hands out of his memory, He figured he owed Harry one last night though, Harry deserves that for all Louis put him through right?

 They meet up where they always do, the same dark alley way Louis works in. From there they walk to the cheap motel 2 blocks down like usual, Louis thought Harry would realize the pain and fear in his eyes but he doesn't, why would he? Louis knows what he means to Harry which isn't much he thought and he is okay with that perfectly fine with actually, it makes what he's about to go through with a lot easier. Not like the decision wasn't easy in the first place, because it was. It's just that the constant reminder that the person Louis loves most doesn't even care about him rips him to pieces because if Harry couldn't love him, no one would and he knew that. When they finally get to the shitty hotel, they check into the same room as they always do. As soon as Harry and Louis enter room 93 their routine is the same as any other night. Harry walks straight into the bathroom to get high even though he snorted a line before Louis called him, and Louis sits on the bed and tries to catch his breath as the events throughout the night run through his mind repetitively. When Harry comes out of the bathroom, pupils dilated and shirt off Louis is prepared for what he knows is coming. Harry rushes to Louis and kisses him roughly and that is exactly how the rest goes down.

 Hot, rough and dirty is exactly how it is every time, neither one of the two boys show any emotion other than want, but this time Louis has to tell him. Louis thinks that Harry deserves to know especially because this is the last time they will ever be in this position, or any position really. As the pair finish each other off and all is done with while they're both laying down in the messy white sheets of the uncomfortable bed staring at the ceiling when Louis decides to tell him. Louis turns on his side, facing Harry and wondering what he ever did to deserve this wonderful boy who sadly is just as broken as him but to afraid to give in and too young to give up. Even though he should, Louis doesn't regret the words as soon as they leave his lips only because they taste bitter and agonizing and he enjoys it only because he knows that after this he's going to be free.

"Harry, I have to tell you something." Louis says carelessly thinking about how he's about to tell Harry that he loves him even though Louis knows he's going to leave him.

"Yeah Lou?" The curly haired boy replies, his words slurring.

"I love you and i just think you need to know. If it brings whatever this is to a stop then whatever Harry, I just needed you to know." It's out there in the open now and Louis isn't even sure if he's ready for what's to come but he knows damn well that it won't be great response.

Really he should of been prepared for this because ten minutes later with no response yet and he begins to think the boy next to him fell asleep, but then Harry finally looks over at Louis and rushes up from the bed and over to where his clothes were thrown off of him.

"H, where are you going?' Louis asks nervously knowing that neither one of them ever bother to leave until the sun decides to shine through the curtains.

"Louis, you know i can't get into this.' Harry says coldly as he's putting on his plain white shirt "You fucking know how i am, you know that i'm no good for you and you know you're not the only person i sleep around with. When this all started I thought you understood you were just a fuck but now, now you choose to tell me you love me? How the hell does that work Lou, please tell me i'm dying to know." Harry shouts and it's almost like Louis can feel the venom in Harry's voice wrapping around his throat.

"Harry you don't even have to fucking say it back i just needed to tell you, just fucking accept it and move on."Louis replies putting up a strong act raising his voice to match Harry's even though he's screaming inside and under the white sheet he's dragging his finger nails against his thigh hard enough to feel the burn and leave red marks but not hard enough to actually break skin.

"Accept it and move on? Are you fucking kidding me Louis? You're such a bastard honestly i cant fucking believe you. I don't love you at all and i don't see how you could say you love me Louis you don't even know me, we fuck sometimes that's it. Do you not understand that? You know what, i don't even care Louis. I was going to tell you i can't do this anymore tonight anyway, you're just too much." Harry says putting on the rest of his clothes and heading towards the door"just delete my number, yeah?" Harry finishes as he slams the door to the motel room.

 Louis is now sitting on the edge of the bed with his boxers on and just letting the feeling of numbness circulate through his veins as he focuses on the pounding in his head and the ache in his bones. He should have known this is what was going to happen. He's alone like always, even though lately his mind has been tricking him into thinking Harry has been there for him. Louis is ready for the next part, He's been ready for the next part since he was 16 and thrown out of his mothers house and forced to work as a slut just so he would have money to have a meal once in a while. He ties the bed sheets to the ceiling fan and he can feel the way his heart is beating out of his chest and everything is happening in one big blur or maybe his eyes are blurred with tears, how the hell was he supposed to know by this point? He walks into the bathroom grabbing toilet paper to write a quick note to anyone that might give a damn. 

 

_I was going to do it anyway why the fuck would i want to be alive? Sorry._

_You're a rolling stone boy_

_Never sleep alone boy_

_Got a million numbers and they're filling up your phone, boy._

_I'm off the deep end,sleeping_

_All night through the weekend._

_Saying that I love him_

_But i know i'm going to leave him._

_-Lou._

 After writing the note the blue eyed boy looks up from the sink and sees Harry left his pills there. What an easier way to go out than hanging from a ceiling fan Louis thought. Not even bothering to lock the bathroom door Louis leaves the note on the sink and takes a seat on the cold floor, Louis then swallows the pills one by one until he in drifting in and out of consciousness. Louis has no last thought before the last beat of his heart because for the first time throughout his entire life, he feels light, he feels like everything he's ever done suddenly doesn't matter anymore. Finally his heart stops beating and he stops breathing in the air of this harsh world. Louis William Tomlinson was too good for the life he was forced to live.

  It's nearly two hours later when Harry quietly sneaks into the hotel room to get his pills that he realizes Louis is no longer sleeping in the bed like he usually would be. Harry thinks nothing of it and figures the brown haired boy probably just left, although when he enters the bathroom to see his almost empty bottle of pills on the floor next to his beautiful boy whose lips are now a pale blue instead of the  soft pink color  that drove Harry crazy he realizes Louis left him. Harry calls an ambulance immediately even though he already knows it's too late. As Harry's eyes begin to flood with tears and thoughts race through his mind that he has been trying to ignore since the day he met Louis, And if Harry whispers a quiet "I love you too."  as the ambulance rushes in, nobody has to know. 


End file.
